December 2010
1 post
Email morons
Look at these fucking Emailmovers morons. Is there really a market for this shit? There are people so utterly fucking clueless that in 2010 they will pay these clowns to dump spam on millions of completely irrelevant robotically harvested email addresses? They haven’t noticed that they could get the same pointless service from Russia for a fraction of the price? I mean, seriously, have I...
October 2010
1 post
Let dad look after your files
Guys, I have a new course that you might like to attend. It’s called “how to effectively ensure that your bullshit press release embargo is not broken”. It will cover the following areas: Don’t make up some bullshit embargo that is totally irrelevant to the boring announcement that you’re trying to make people write about — unless you consider people taking...
August 2010
2 posts
2 tags
Government quango funds bullshit seminars from...
Yesterday I forwarded an email from a Fiona Hudson-Kelly advertising her bollocks email marketing training course. It’s actually the third piece of spam I’ve received from this particular clown: they’ve been coming at weekly intervals for three weeks now. She’s certainly pretty desperate to get me on her courses.
I took another look at the previous emails I had received...
3 tags
How to use E-Mail Marketing
Follow these five easy steps to a professionally managed email marketing campaign that will guarantee you impressive results.
Harvest a list of totally random email addresses from the internet. If you prefer, there are a number of professional spamming companies you can pay for a ready compiled list of random irrelevant email addresses. Who cares what group of people are actually receiving your...
April 2010
1 post
Hey, look at this social media clown
And his social media clown academy. Look at his lovely personalised malformatted email with the stretched table, and the “unsubscribe from the list that you didn’t subscribe to” button, and the links to “http://emailmarketer/”. Oh hey, looks like I don’t have those websites on my computer. Perhaps you could resend them as a Word attachment or something?...